Wholeness beyond Motherhood

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour..." (1 Pet. 5:8-9).

So as many of you know, I have just given birth to my second baby girl. For me, this was a game changer. Now, I have come up against many obstacles and trials set for my stumble, but one of the most difficult task within my journey throughout motherhood (at least this go round) -- has been simply prioritizing myself. Do not get me wrong, I have always had admiration for myself, solely because of the things that I have survived thus making me stronger. However, it is in the times of sacrifice that I truly have come to see where my love for others would outweigh the importance of my wholeness.

Can you relate?

The reason that I wanted to speak on such a topic like this, is because it is crucially important in a society where the image for “self-care” is yoga and sushi. But, the reality behind the actually care for one’s self should consist of a mental check and some emotional discharge...one that aligns your direction with our goals and one that strengthens your discernment. And this is not to say that a little yoga and some brunch won’t help -- but truth be told, a little rest also goes a long way. Resting for me has always served as a beautiful form of rejuvenation. But in addition to that, my self-care routine is one that provides adaptation and proper adjustment. I will repeat that, my self care routines “provides adaptation and proper adjustment”. Adapting to the circumstances of life is a requirement, but learning to adapt to the seasons of womanhood while also mastering motherhood is real. So, you want to know what a weekend self-care routine with me would look like:

  1. Checking my goal list for deadlines, accomplishments, and adjustments.

  2. Clearing my schedule of toxic people and places (including family).

  3. Making time for my gifts/purpose.

  4. Forgiving myself of recent failures and missed deadlines.

  5. Spending alone time with God.

So, yeah this is it. My self-care routine is one that assist with the development of my purpose...one that heals me and one that fills my cup up. For me, wholeness is less about the outside and more about the things on the inside that limit you from completely living freely. By definition, wholeness is, “the state of being unbroken or undamaged.” (dictionary.com). And in a case of damaged goods, what would yoga and sushi have to offer?

Wholeness is about choosing you even when it comes down to your children.

What do I mean?

Exactly what I said.

Life can be demanding and just like God’s word says, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour..." (1 Pet. 5:8-9). You cannot be the best mother that want to be if you are not first - the best woman that you can be. Listen, what I mean is -- without healing + change, adaptation + growth, the enemy has you at his mercy. Living broken and damaged only gives air to the enemy. But wholeness provides peace, it provides proper guidance and strong leadership. What a mother is not willing to learn often falls on the failures of the child. So, hey mama, I am just here to tell you to love yourself, then love your children and everyone else. There is wholeness beyond motherhood, and you can obtain it.

Be blessed,

De’dria Bynum

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